King Cobra

Just one of the reasons why Eat Bulaga is unbeatable.

Being Frank

This was an email sent by one of our Pinoy engineers to one of the Chinese vendor-engineers:

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But you need to be clear and describe exactly why the platform is rejecting a normal message.

IMPORTANT NOTE: PLEASE COMMUNICATE VIA EMAIL. I AM SORRY BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR ENGLISH BY PHONE. ALWAYS, THERE IS A LOT OF INTERFERENCE.

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Note that a lot of people were copied in this email. Kawawa naman yung Intsik. Kaso eh di daw talaga maintindihan yung English eh. Biglang-bawi na lang yung noypi nung dinagdagan nya ng “interference” sa huli.

I think the interference that he was referring to is the accent. Hehe.

The Pregnant Man

Is this for real?

S.M.

Yes, I've started working again. It's a big leap from my previous one in terms of position so I just can't help but double-click on my name on the email recipient-list every now and then just to see my title, just to be sure that I'm not dreaming.

An S.M. at 32?

Not too shabby. ;-)

Sarrrrrap

Fatherhood

It's been a week since I've arrived from KL and I just have to say that being with the missus and my son has been overwhelmingly fantastic.

Changing his diapers, feeding him, burping him, and cuddling him to sleep have been such arduous but rewarding tasks ---for the missus. I have to admit that since I arrived I've, pardon the pun, been sleeping like a baby all night, unaware of Lucas' demands for milk and diaper-change. The missus was kind enough to let me catch my Zzzs while she wakes up for almost 2-3 times a night to heed my son's call.

I've only started to learn the above tasks for the past 3 days now. Even my 11 year telecom working experience meant nothing when it came to such a simple task as changing diapers. At first glance it looked simple. But when I tried it on Lucas it wasn't as easy as it looked. A certified engineer slash board-passer doesn't know how to put a diaper? That's right folks. But at my 2nd attempt I was successful. Now I can say it's definitely a cinch, as long as he's not crying, hehe.

Who would've thought that such a simple piece of compiled cotton can hold an enormous amount of pee and sh*t! How times have changed. I find it really amazing ---and smelly.

But besides the smells and the occasional cries, I can now agree to what most of my friends say. That it is such a wonderful feeling to have a child. Just holding him in my arms while he tries to visualize this other pair of eyes looking at him, singing to him a tirade of light-rock oldies such as "Father and Son" with missed lyrics is such an amazing, A-M-A-Z-I-N-G feeling.

Priceless.

Jesus, St. Jude, and I (The Conclusion)

"There was another passenger earlier who was rejected by Immigration since she had no clearance-letter. I’m afraid I cannot book you on this flight.”

Several images crossed my mind the moment I heard this:

I could be checking-in at the Pan Pacific Hotel nearby the airport, wait for Monday and hopefully things get sorted out with Immigration;

OR

I try the airport-immigration and when they find that I’ve no clearance-letter, they shove me into the immigration office, get interrogated, and possibly jailed for trying to leave the country without their clearance.

But then I thought, I’m a Filipino. We are known to be more astig than the locals wherever we may be. “Unahan lang sa sindak yan,” a colleague in Singapore once told me. So, I took a deep breath and said to the lady at the check-in counter:

“NO! That letter is not needed! Immigration has already rescheduled my visa-expiry to an earlier date so that means they have checked and found nothing pending from my end.”

She paused, lifted her landline, and called to whom I assumed to be her manager. She then covered the mouthpiece and told me,

“Here’s what you can do. I will book you BUT I will not check-in your baggages for an hour. That will be enough time for me to assume that immigration has ok’ed you to travel.”

I agreed. I would have to proceed immediately to immigration which meant skipping my intended McDo breakfast meal (darn).

On my way to the escalator leading down to immigration, I was getting worried. “What if I get rejected and sent back? I would have to stay here over the weekend?” I told myself.

In that moment, I remembered St. Jude.

It was on the previous night when I was packing all the rest of our stuff from the condo that I came upon a stampita of St. Jude. At the back it said something like, Patron of Lost Causes. I never gave that much notice as I put it in one of my baggages until now. This seems to be classified as a lost cause, so why not try?

So as I was walking, I called on St. Jude to intercede for this no hope situation. “I sure hope he’s listening,” I thought.

The immigration-queue was fairly light. Not too many passengers traveling at lunch time since most of the flights are in the morning. I was in a queue with around 10 people with a tourist-couple at the front, seemingly unaware that one of the immigration officers was calling them to his counter so that the queue could move.

Seeing that the officer failed in calling the couple, I called the attention of the couple and pointed them to the waiting officer. They looked and went. The officer gave me a “thank you” look. Finally! The queue was moving and my fate was about to be determined.

Since there were 3 counters serving the queue, the choice of going to a particular officer was random. Then my turn came, and I was lucky to be put into where the tourist-couple went earlier.

I showed him my passport and browsed through the pages. “Don’t look at my visa!” I shouted to him in my mind, hoping he’ll hear. He found the visa-page of course. Then, as he was about to ask me something which I assumed to be asking for my immigration-letter, a female-colleague of his passed by and greeted him who seemed to have asked when he’ll finish his shift. This somehow lost his train of thought. He totally forgot about what he was supposed to ask and with his right hand, grabbed the immigration stamp.

THUD.

A stamp on the immigration card.

THUD.

A stamp on my passport.

He signed on both stamps and handed me my passport. I was free to travel.

I thanked the officer and, in tradition to my Dad’s PR skills, I asked him how long has he been working on his shift.

“12 hours,” he said, his eyes showing bags wanting to release sand-dust of sleep.

“I think you better go home. Get some rest.”

“Yes I will. Tired already lah.”

I said goodbye to him and passed the immigration counters. It felt like a big burden has been lifted. Never have I been so relieved to have passed by airport-immigration in my entire life!

These past two weeks have been hell alright. Malaysia must’ve been going to miss me so much that she pulled all the stops to make me stay. Of course, Manila is where I want to be.

There was one final issue 2 hours before my flight: I had 400 ringgit worth of notes in my wallet that had to be left behind, and a hungry stomach that needed to be fed.

Next stop: Duty-free shopping and Sbarro’s.

Jesus, St. Jude, and I

The past two weeks have been hectic for me. It seems that there was a connivance in the heavens to play a practical joke on me, which wanted to scare me with the thought that I may not go home.

Episode #1.

I had already found a buyer to whom I will sell my trusty car through an officemate's recommendation. My heart sank though as I checked our apartment-mailbox the next day when I found 2 police-summons sent to my old residence indicated that MY car was involved in an accident last March and that the other party is claiming for damages.

This was preposterous of course, as I told the missus on the phone that we were never at the mentioned area at that date/time. And besides, there was not a scratch on my car which indicated my innocence. Anyway, together with an officemate slash police-by-night officer, I went to the KL police station to find out what's going on. It turns out that the "intelligent" police-officer at the scene of the accident had written down the correct license plate of the offending party on his report (3687) but f*cked up when he transfered the car details to the computer-system to issue the summon (3867 ---my car). May I add that the offending vehicle indicated in his original report showed "BUS" as its description. Although my mother's brother and father are certified pro-drivers of the Martinez Bus Company that runs from Manila to Ilocos Sur, I have NEVER driven a bus in my life!

My car was cleared of course, but as you know there was a 50-ringgit "under the table" fee to speed things up. Darn it! Ako na nga naabala ako pa nagbayad. Siya dapat yung nagbayad sakin eh.

Episode #2.

I had an orbibike exercise machine that needed to be disposed since shipping it to Manila may cost more than the original value of the machine itself. So I sold it to another officemate at a dead-cheap price (80% loss on my part, in fact). Since the machine could not fit in her car I volunteered to deliver the thing to her place which I absolutely had NO IDEA how to go to. So she made a sketch on a piece of A4 and I went.

It was night and it was dark. Road signs were barely noticeable that I missed the exit to her place. I saw the sign too late but I stopped on the highway, and, seeing that there were absolutely no cars behind me I hit the gear to "R" and backed up at 80kmh to the exit lane with my hazard lights on. I thought I made the great escape when I was back on the right track when 2 motorcycle-clad police-officers chased me and pulled me over.

"Give me your license"

"Sorry sir it was dark and I got scared that I might get lost! (showing the map-sketch) I wanted to exit at this lane but I passed it."

(officer looks at the sketch, and, realizing that moi speak no Malay) "OK follow me I'll take you here."

"Here" was not I assumed to be. "Here" was the POLICE STATION.

"Sh*t!!! T*ngina ano na naman ang ginawa mo?!?!?! P*tang*na namaaaan!" I said to my idiot self as I followed the police officer to the station. I was already picturing myself behind bars crying for mercy like that old OFW commercial:

"IBALIK NYO NA AKO SA PILIPINAS!!!"

At the police station, four uniformed officers stood outside the entrance and met up with me. I showed them my Malaysian driving license which incidentally was inserted in my LTO casing that included my Philippine license.

"Youuu Filipino?"

"Yes."

"This is Malaysia. You're driving in Philippines cannot be done here."

"Sorry sir it was dark and I got scared that I may get lost....(excuses excuses excuses...)"

"No! I will give you police-summon!"

I realized that if he gave me a summon, I might not be able to sell my car. At that moment, I remembered my Dad.

Dad is a living example of how to use PR skills to your advantage. One shining example is how he had helped me get my 1st POEA Exit Pass. I was flying off to Malaysia in a few days but the govt. will not allow me fly without an Exit Pass. This usually takes 1-2 weeks. With my Dad and his PR skills, it took me 1 day. No he didn't know anyone at POEA. He just had the guts to enter the restricted areas and talk to the officer-in-charge and somehow found a way to speed up my application.

So with that in mind, I said to the police officers in a Malaysian accent:

"No no no don't give me summon! Maybe we can discuss this. (excuses excuses...afraid of the dark....excuses blah blah blah...boring the officers...blah blah blah...)"

When suddenly one of the four retorted, "OK go back (home)."

"Huh?" I said.

"Go back. We only give you warning. Go back."

"Jumping Jupiters Batman," I thought. It worked! I had managed to escape a summon and possible fine that I would've had trouble selling the car. As those Christian Ministers on Sunday TV would say, "Thank You Je-sus!"

Episode #3.

It was Friday 9am. I was at the KL airport excited to go home but at the same time partly sad leaving Malaysia. Three and a half years here man. Going back to Manila to start all over is like going to another foreign country and readjusting. All these thoughts were in mind as I passed my passport and plane ticket to the lady behind the Malaysia-Airlines check-in counter.

"Do you have a return ticket to KL?"

"No. I'm going back to Manila for good."

"Where is your immigration clearance letter?"

"My what?"

"Your immigration clearance letter?"

"Sorry I don't have that."

"Then I cannot book you."


(Itutuloy)

My farewell email

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Hi,

Today is my last day working for M and my last day here in Malaysia.

I am forever grateful for having met and worked with you for the past three and a half years.

AK will be taking over as Head of CNO-IN/VASP so do contact him if you need any assistance.

I wish you all the best in your endeavors.

Thank you very much.

Best regards.

RGP

“Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is.” ---Erich Fromm

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Nanay Ko Yan

From today's issue of the PDI Metro Section:

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Protest rally greets new PNU president
Failure to meet standards cited
By Tina Santos
Inquirer
Last updated 00:23am (Mla time) 06/28/2006

Published on Page A21 of the June 28, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

SEVERAL faculty members and students of the state-run Philippine Normal University (PNU) yesterday held a rally to voice their displeasure over the appointment of lawyer Lutgardo Barbo as their new president, saying he had failed to meet some of the minimum standards set for the post.

Students, teachers and administrative staffers wore black shirts as they held a rally and noise barrage inside the PNU campus on Taft Avenue, Manila to question the decision of the eight-member Board of Regents (BOR), the university’s highest policy-making body. Black pieces of cloth and a streamer with the message “No to politics, yes to merit” were hung from one of the buildings.

The BOR had chosen Barbo, a former governor of Eastern Samar, over four other nominees—Dr. Esther Ogena, Dr. Twila Punsalan, Dr. Rosa Maria Llanes and Dr. Carolina Danao. The protesters claimed that Barbo’s name should not have been included in the final list of three candidates submitted by the search committee.

“We were surprised to find out that he got the position when in fact, he ranked last among the five candidates,” said Felice Yeban, a Department of Social Sciences professor. “He does not even have a minimum of five years of administrative experience in teacher education or related fields,” she added.

The Inquirer tried but failed to reach Barbo for comment.

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Evening KL Drive

I was driving from KL to meet my futsal friends who were giving me a farewell dinner. Since they knew that I was a self-proclaimed Bah Kuh Teh connosieur, they took me to a BKT shop in Old Klang Road. It was not as great as the one that me and the missus go for every Sunday but the setup was nice since there were veggies and mushroom sidings that came with the meat. Ang difference lang naman eh yung sabaw di kasing-lapot nung nasa Klang. Evertything else was ok.

Since traffic was very tight during the rush hour, I managed to scramble for my cam-phone and take pictures of some of the KL sites that I've frequented (yup traffic was that jammed).

I think when I look at these pics months from now I'll just sigh and say, "Been there, done that."


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Last Hurrah for Futsal

Last weekend was Malaysia's futsal farewell to me. I joined a team for the Company's futsal tournament, a one-day league last Saturday. It was in sync with the current FIFA World Cup so the organizers decided to give the team names based from the current countries in the said Cup. My team was Mexico.

Our team was a bunch of misfits but we were able to pull through: we played 6 games in the round-robin where we had 1 draw and 5 wins....by the enemy. Seeing the other teams play I knew that we had no chance. So I just forgot about being competitive and just focused on having fun and let all my teammates play. Even after every hurting loss, I was able to end up with a smile and shrug it off. "All for fun," was all I kept saying to myself.

Needless to say that we went there not for the trophy, but for the laughs. As for me I was able to score a glorious free-kick from the halfway line, passing a two-man wall and the suprised goalkeeper ---although we still lost that particular game 3-1.

Anyway I still had my regular Sunday futsal so the next day I was at it again, enjoying "The Beautiful Game" for those 2 hours. But as end-time neared, I knew that this *could* be my last futsal game (I've seen the futsal court in Club680 in Libis but the missus mentioned that his friend's friend has difficulty in getting a quorum).

When I get back to Manila I'll surprise my old football club in DB-Makati. Yes, the prized left-midfielder is back to play with Malaysian experience to boot.

Play on.

Manang

You've read about it, heard scary stories, and watched it in Pinoy horror films. Below could be the closest proof of their existence ---pics taken in Sual, Pangasinan using night vision by an emailer called Edwin Cura (click the pics to zoom).

Not just a mug

Well I couldn’t figure out the riddle that my team gave since I was too busy handing-over some work. It turns out they were referring to CHILI’S at Midvalley Megamall (yeah I know, you too would not have guessed it. I guess my team is better off as engineers rather than riddlers).

All of my 5 staff members came. They treated me to a nice dinner (I ordered the beef-ribs and chicken combo ---bochog).

After eating I was surprised they handed me a gift, which turned out to be for Lucas. It was a set of floating bath-tub toys and a rattle. Lucas (and I) will definitely enjoy it.

I had a feeling that they were also going to give me a gift so after setting aside the toys, I started laughing, “OK OK give me MYYYYY gift!!! YAHOOO! Come on gimme gimme!!! HEEHEE YAHOOO!”

Everyone was dumb-founded. “How did he know?” they all must’ve asked. Actually when we entered Chili’s one of my staff was already there sitting by the waiting area. He failed to hide one of those shopping paper bags so I somehow knew that it was for me.

So much to their disappointment that they weren’t able to surprise me this time, they handed me the paper bag. It’s labeled “Royal Selangor,” a shop known for its pewters. After several layers of packaging, here’s what I got:


A pewter mug. It's reminiscent of those used by kings of old or what you see in such films as LOTR. Note that Royal Selangor products do not come cheap.

But what touched me was that they’ve put an engraving on the mug with the words WORLD’S BEST BOSS and underneath it they put in all their names. Needless to say that I was close to being teary-eyed. I was touched. They would’ve given me a ceramic or plastic mug but that engraving meant more to me. It meant that I’ve done well here as a manager according to not one, but all of my staff.

So I gave my short-speech to them, wishing them all the best in their careers and their personal lives. After which, we capped the night by playing cosmic bowling which unfortunately I only scored 104 which meant I am light-years away from being World’s Best Bowler.

Dinner riddle

My staff have been so kind to give me a farewell dinner tonight as I've only over a week until I fly back to Manila. However, they have been cheeky not to reveal to me the venue for tonight's dinner directly but by a riddle.

I have to solve the riddle below in order to find out the venue for tonight. Well if I don't solve it, they'll end up having dinner just by themselves and it's going to be their fault, not mine. Hehe.

Well it is whr Microsoft came from
Some spices involved as well
Thr are many of this dine in this country
But the one we all gonna be is at the famous spree & dine, situated,
Center of an elongated lowland between ranges of hills..

Regurgitate

WARNING: I almost threw-up watching this one.

Great Shot!

Yup, the missus and I are finally one of those people who'll put all of their kid's pics on their blogs, cellphone wallpaper, laptop wallpaper, friendster profiles, YM display image, and so on and so on. I guess that's one of the joys of parenthood, a.k.a. the 'hood. You will never grow tired of looking at your kid every second of the day, moreover if you're thousands of miles away like me.

Here's a great shot taken by my sis. It's by the window of the missus' hospital-room while I was letting God's morning sun touch him.

New Kid In Town

As of June-16 7:34pm, the missus and I are officially parents. This 3.019kg bundle of joy called Lucas Elijah entered the world screaming and crying as the ob-gyn pulled him out of the missus' womb. Since we checked-in at the Asian Hospital in poshy Filinvest-Alabang, the husband was allowed in the op-room so I was privileged to be THE first relative to lay eyes on him. As the missus was welling with tears as she heard Lucas' cries, needless to say that I followed him with my trusty Canon 7megapix digicam from the missus to the glass-bassinet as the in-house pediatrician checked, measured, and weighed him for the tale-of-the-tape. Full video coverage, syempre.

It shouldn't be surprising that after being toweled dry, Lucas was as handsome as his father (wink wink). The missus points out the nose, the eye-sags, and the thick-hair as the features he inherited from me, while I can see the missus in Lucas' brown eyes.

Around 3am the next day the missus and I together with my sis were visited by him for a try at breastfeeding. Since there is still no breastmilk generated by the missus immediately after birth, you can imagine Lucas' frustration when he tries to suck but didn't get the intended output. His view on this issue? Cry, of course. Amazingly when he cries I would carry him from the missus and rock him gently from side to side and, voila, he stops crying. Di pa ako kumakanta nun ha.

We benefited greatly from his "every 3-4 hour" visits since we get to see (and smell!) him often. He smells like vanilla with a touch of pinipig (really!). No artificial flavoring, ika nga. Just all-natural baby smell.

My sis, armed with a film-type pro-camera, 2 digicams, 1 videocam, and 3 cam-phones could not help but just click and shoot away during these visits even as Lucas squints everytime he feels a flash coming on despite his eyes being closed. He may have a future in male modeling, hehe.

From the missus' family to mine, he is everybody's apple-of-the-eye. Ang pogi pogi't cuuuuuuuuuuuute daw. You only need to look at the parents, of course, as to why that is so. Hehe.

We were hoping to bring him home last Sunday but unfortunately he had a brief breath-holding episode ---5 seconds to be exact (I guess he was practicing deep meditation when the nurse spotted him). The pediatrician ran some tests and found that he may be suspect for some sort of infection. Thus he has to stay at the hospital for 5 more days (actually, 4 days left, and counting) with antibiotics injected to him twice a day (poor guy). He will be tested again on Friday morning so I hope it's negative so that he can go home to see his room (which has been recently renovated btw, sparklingly). Me and the missus had tears running on our faces as we said goodnight to our boy, and left for home.

I had to leave for Malaysia too so this morning I went by myself to the hospital to see him. He was just about to be injected for his morning medicine but I requested the nurses to postpone for a while as I needed to see and talk to him.

You may think I'm crazy but alone on that parent-area in the nursery with him, I was really talking to him: telling him how pogi he is, asking him to be strong and hopefully get out of this hospital by Friday, telling him to stop courting all the other baby girls in the nursery since there are more girls outside, and that airconditioning should not be a problem since his room in QC is equipped with it. Ahh yes, I also sang to him the chorus of "I'll Be" amidst the tears running on my face. It was really painful leaving him there. Well, hopefully he goes out by Friday so that he can see all his relatives (or vice-versa).

I took the video below using my N70 just before I left the hospital today for the airport. Like the missus, he likes it when I stroke his head gently as it relaxes him. Touch-therapy I guess. You can't help but agree, he's damn cute.

Leaving on a high note

It was not surprising that the news of my resignation had spread to the whole Company in over a week. Thanks to the tsismosos and tsismosas, it found its way to every person that I've worked with for the past 3.5 years. This has proved that office rumours spread faster than bird flu.

It's really amazing that every now and then I'd get a text-message or a phone-call asking, "Is it true that you are leaving us?" To which I would respond to a humble YES, citing family, with population soon to be increased to 3, as my main reason for going back to Manila. Yes when family is put into the picture (or the resignation letter in this case), the Company has no other choice but to accept their loss.

I am very flattered by the comments that I've received such as:

"Oh man why do you have to leave? How are we going to do this/that now?"

"I'm very sad that you're leaving. You're definitely one of the best people in this project."

"You're a very good manager. This team will be lost without you."

The best so far was from my boss' boss, who commented during the monthly meeting in front of all the other managers and senior managers:

"R and S are leaving soon. These are the good guys. I hope they will reconsider and stay with us."

I am very humbled by their comments, knowing that I've done well in this Company. Leaving this place knowing that I've left at the top of my game has made me feel content. Hopefully I will be able to leave the same impression on my next challenge, wherever/whatever it may be.

I guess this was how Michael Jordan felt during his 1st retirement.

Pampagana

Mmmmmm ang sarraaap!