Expectations

I chanced upon my cousin being online at YM last week. It has been a long time since I had a chat with her ---the last time we met was in Baywalk in Roxas Blvd during one of my dinners with the missus. The chat started with the usual hi's and hello's. Then, as if on cue, she said:

"Wala pa ba [kayong anak]?"

Earlier today even my ex-officemate asked the same thing. Now why is it that when I meet somebody I haven't met in a long while, they always ask me that same question?

"Wala pa ba?"
"Kelan kayo magkakaanak?"
"Si kwan nagkaanak na, kayo kelan?"

You may have encountered a similar question yourself, for example:

"Kelan ka magkakatrabaho?"
"Bakit di ka pa nagkaka-girlfriend? boyfriend?"
"So kelan ang kasal?"
"Kelan kami makakatikim ng mainit na sabaw?"
"Si kwan lumalaki na baka di na maging flowergirl/ringbearer nyo. Kasalan na ba?"
"Kelan masusundan yung panganay nyo?"

Here's a classic from my former 70+ year old landlady from Makati. Without battting an eyelash, she said:

"Tirahin mo na!"

The list just goes on and on.

Isn't it just plain irritating if you keep on hearing it over and over? Everyone is always expecting everybody to be at some life stage that they unconsciously pressure the individual to be in the "in-group."

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not pressured in any way. I'm just plain irritated. Irritated that of all the intelligent questions one can ask, that's all he or she could muster up.

Asking those sort of questions defeats the individual's purpose of discovering life at his/her own pace. It's like being forced to play your favorite song in fast-forward mode that you never get to hear the lyrics nor enjoy the melody. I guess that's why most people have regrets because they pushed themselves too much to satisfy the expectations of others that they forget to pamper themselves first. They miss out on life as they ought to see it, not as others see it. I do pity them. Although, as an old saying goes, "be careful for what you wish for, you just might get it."

Seeing my cousin's question pop-up, I then immediately replied:

"Eh....bakit di ka pa nagkaka-boyfriend?"

To which she responded:

"Eh bakit nyo ba ako pinepressure?"

Well, I think she got the idea at that moment.

I hope we all stop asking those sorts of questions to anyone. It just adds unnecessary pressure, self-disappointment, or, for my case, it's just plain irritating. A simple "Kumusta ka?" will do, don't you think??

So.....kumusta ka na?