Neighbors

We live in a 5-storey condo just outside KL. The location is strategic, actually, coz it's right smack in the middle going to the office, two work-sites, a nearby theme-park, a mall, and an expressway (skyway, if you will) that gets you in KL in 15 minutes.

As far as I know, the missus and I are the only Filipinos staying in this place so "getting to know the neighbors" has not been that successful. It's not that we're anti-social, but we like the peace and quiet of this place. It's really wonderful when you wake up coz our side is where the sun rises so the view of the park with swimming pool is picturesque. Morning's a nice time to lie in bed while reading a good novel, waiting for lunch. Nope that's not me but the missus since I'm at work. Ahhh yes I do envy her when she's very relaxed while I'm hurrying up to go to work coz I've overslept again.

Although we haven't been introduced to the neighbors, we have somehow known them as we go up to our floor and pass by their units or when we see them in the park.

There's this Malay family on the ground floor that the missus always, and I mean a-l-w-a-y-s, looks through their living room window everytime we pass by (Pinoys are very usi don't you agree?). She says their place looks like a refugee camp minus the UN peacekeepers. There is an average of 8 pairs of slippers and shoes on their front door at any given time, so I assume that if a family member arrives from work late, he'll end up sleeping on the living room carpet.

Adjacent to them is this Indian family who can compete with the number of slippers and shoes anytime. It is always jampacked on Sundays. Their front door is nearest to the stairway leading to our unit so we always have to make sure we don't step on the slippers that have been left on the front door, lest we want to get DNA samples of their smell. One time I was so irritated by the mess (and smell) of the footwear that I told the missus that I wanted to split the shoes on their unit and throw one pair each to somewhere in the park. Make them play treasure-hunt or "find the other pair of your shoe" in the dark. Hehe. That would've been nice to look at from our bedroom window. Another idea of mine was to interchange the shoes and slippers of the Malay family with the Indian family. Ohhhh I would love to do that! Hmmm....that'll teach 'em. Hehe.

Right below our unit lives Ricky and his wife. I was able to introduce myself to him when I had a plumbing problem. The rusty pipes that ran up from the ground floor from the side of the building to ours needed replacement. The plumber suggested that he's not Spiderman so he asked me if we could go to the unit below mine and put some pipe holders. Anyway, Ricky worked in a trucking firm that, get this, is only about a few meters from the condo. What's weird is that he'd always take his car going there. Not a good way to save gas in these troubled times, ey? But I guess he has his reasons. A few months ago I noticed a small delivery truck (similar to an L300) parked in his spot. Our cars were parked next to each other so I thought that this truck must be from another unit. Then I saw Ricky doodling some stuff to the truck. I assumed that he resigned and started his own mobile-food business. Yup I was right. Much to the disappointment of my missus, Ricky left his company and ventured into the food business. I hope he's doing well. Everytime we see each other in the parking lot, we never fail to say a quick hello. Yes, only one word: hello.

There is this one neighbor that we're quite bothered about. We haven't seen her. But we've heard her. You see in some afternoons we'd hear her cry, as if she was being raped. The missus and I have been banging our heads as to what was the reason we'd always hear this, and we came up with several possibilities: one, she could be an abused wife where the husband "violates" her when he feels like it. We removed this theory since we only hear crying but no "slapping" sound, which I have heard many times when people have sex in porn movies. Two, she could be going through a tremendous heart-ache or breakup, although I've never heard of such "rape-like" crying when Julia Roberts got shot down in My Best Friend's Wedding. And three, she could just be a nymphomaniac passing the time by playing around with a dildo. This could be the strongest reason. But we'll never know. I guess we'll wait 'til we hear her wail again.

When we smell something good cooking, no doubt it's "auntie" on the unit adjacently below us. The smell of her cooking is amazing, although we can't figure out what she's cooking since it's most probably Chinese. We see her on her kitchen stirring up the food while her right elbow is placed on the window sill so she can cook in a relaxed fashion. Hmmm....could be a technique I should do sometime.

We haven't seen Balyenski in a long while. She's a middle aged Indian around 200lbs that the missus often sees in a one-piece bathing suit in the pool. Now I don't exactly call it swimming since she never moves from one place in the pool because of her own version of the breaststroke. It's a pitiful site, really, since doing a breaststroke without goggles will be difficult especially if you noticed from the pool floor that you're not moving. Sometimes she even does a headstand in the pool, much like those shows in Water World. I really don't understand why she does that. Thus the name Balyenski. I was kidding the missus that Balyenski will overtake her in the battle of the bulge but the missus is undetered. Well it's been 2months since we last saw her waiding in the pool. I guess she stopped swimming coz she noticed that there was no change when she tipped the scales.

Finally there's this Indian family that owns the only convenience store in the condo. The husband, which we shall call Ganesh, would always (always!) mistake me for a Malay. So he'd always talk to me in Malay even if I respond in English. Well I guess it's partly my fault since I still haven't picked up the language even after 2 1/2 years here. The wife, which we shall call Tesh, would often insist that you buy more than you came for. It happened to me during my first trip there. I came in to buy only a loaf of bread but ended up buying 2 mineral water bottles and a small cup of ice cream. Fortunately I've learned from it and has never happened to me again.

Weird as it seems but everytime I'm there I always hear Ganesh and his daughter, which we shall call Ganitesh, shouting at each other. As I don't understand Tamil (Indian talk), I just leave it to the imagination that it could be about the store, her school work, or her boyfriend (except that I estimate her to be only 12yrs old, so scrap that last one). Even in the evenings when I wash the car I'd still hear them shouting. Hmmm....could it be that it's just the way they talk? "Daddy can you help me with my work?" "Stupid child! Haven't I told you that I'm not a human encyclopedia?! One plus one is three!" Or something like that.

Watching the neighbors has already been an art for us. Unfortunately if I get renewed next year or if the missus gets pregnant (whichever is earlier), we'd have to move to another condo since this one doesn't have an elevator. Climbing 10 short-flights of stairs with an excess-weight airport baggage or 5 bags of groceries is not really my idea of exercise. Moreover, it's not safe for the 1st trimester of a pregnant woman as Discovery Channel explains.

I'm sure we're gonna miss all our current neighbors. But it will definitely be exciting to meet the new ones if we move.